Donald Trump speaks at Manhattan Criminal Court in New York City on May 7, 2024.

Donald Trump speaks at Manhattan Criminal Court in New York City on May 7, 2024.
Photo: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

Donald Trump will host a dinner at his Florida club (and residence) Mar-a-Lago tonight, according to a report from Axios. And while the place is often crawling with the dumbest people on the planet, the air will be even more thick with nonsense this evening. The crowd will be purchasers of Trump’s mugshot-themed NFT collection.

Anyone who bought at least 47 Trump NFTs, priced at $99 each—meaning they dropped at least $4,653 on the digital tokens—was invited to the dinner, Axios reported. Attendees will also get a small piece of the suit Trump supposedly wore when he got arrested in Georgia for trying to overturn the 2020 election results.

But it gets even better. People who bought at least 100 NFTs ($9,900) got a “VIP” invitation to a cocktail reception before dinner. Those people will not only get a piece of Trump’s suit but also a piece of the tie he wore.

The inclusion of physical things like pieces of Trump’s suit and tie is kind of funny, given how many NFT evangelists believe non-fungible tokens are supposed to be better than physical goods. But NFTs have always been an inherently ridiculous proposition since they primarily act as little more than pointers to something on the web. In fact, linkrot has completely broken many image-based NFTs since they’re essentially just spicy hyperlinks.

Trump reportedly made somewhere between $100,000 and $1 million selling NFTs, according to financial disclosures made in 2023. Why the huge range? Because the U.S. doesn’t have real transparency laws for political candidates, instead opting to ask for ballpark numbers from our oligarchic rulers.

Trump, who’s currently on trial in New York for paying hush money to a porn star in an attempt to influence the 2016 election, doesn’t need to be in court on Wednesdays, the day that his trial is in recess. And the former president is making good use of his day off by flying down to Florida and rubbing elbows with Trump-loving NFT buyers—arguably the most contemptible people around.

If you’re still buying NFTs in 2024, we’re not quite sure what to tell you. You deserve everything you get, especially if you’re giving money to a fucking billionaire.

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