Buying birthday gifts is a time-honored tradition, although estimates of how much people actually spend can vary. One study revealed that many people spend around $41 to $100 per gift, while another suggested that about $25 is common, regardless of the relationship between the gifter and the recipient.
In our house, though, there’s no question of how much my husband and I will spend on birthday gifts for each other. The number is $0. No money comes out of our checking account for presents for the “big day.”
Here’s why — and what we do instead.
Birthday gifts are a no-go at our house for a simple reason
My husband and I made the joint choice to stop giving birthday presents to each other many years ago. One of the main reasons we gave up the habit is because neither of us really need anything. We buy items we want throughout the year as we find it and as it fits into our budget. Because of this, it was actually pretty stressful to try to think about presents for each other, since there were no real unfulfilled wants.
Since neither of us really needed anything, the gifts we were buying often ended up being a waste of money and not great for our personal finances. We’d get items we wouldn’t otherwise have purchased — like t-shirts or a box of candy from a fancy candy store — just to have something to hand to the other person to unwrap.
This started to feel silly to us, especially since we’ve been married for over a decade and it’s not as if we need gifts to prove our love to each other. So, instead we opted to do something that would bring us a lot more joy. We take the amount that we would have spent on gifts and we add it to our vacation savings account.
Since we both really value our ability to travel, we feel like the money is a lot better spent enabling us to do something more special on a trip we take — even if it’s not anywhere near our birthdays. The $100 or more we deposit in there every year has allowed us to cover expenses like theme park tickets for an extra day or a nice meal out while we’re away.
Could an alternative to gift-giving bring you more joy?
For us, it was an easy call to give up birthday gifts because we had something we thought was “better” to do with our money.
Now, this may not be the case for everyone, but it’s definitely worth considering why you’re giving gifts for birthdays and perhaps even other special occasions like Valentine’s Day or anniversaries or even (dare I say it) Christmas.
If gift giving has become a source of stress or an obligation rather than something you genuinely get excited about, you may be able to find something you’d both prefer to do with your money. Some possible options include:
- Making a special meal at home for each other
- Sharing a special experience together, like a couple’s massage.
- Planning a unique date night, such as an escape room
- Recreating your first date
- Taking a class together, such as a cooking class or dance class
- Planning a special hike
- Going on a picnic in a park together
- Buying something for your house, like a special piece of art
It’s worth at least considering these alternatives and discussing breaking the “buying gifts” tradition with your significant other. Just be sure to do it long before a birthday actually arrives, so your spouse doesn’t think you’re just looking for an excuse not to shop for them!
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