At the end of my weekly podcast I ask my guests a question: “What makes you happy?” And despite the simple question, there is a problem.
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It’s a suitcase word. One word with many meanings. It’s complicated.
When I open up the black box of what happiness is, there are many definitions:
- For some, the interpretation of happiness can be superficial. Fleeting joy. Maybe even hedonic.
- As for the others, it has a deeper philosophical meaning, where they refer that it is “a sense of fulfillment, meaning and purpose”. Slow burning and deep happiness.
- For the complicated, it will be a collective menagerie. An ecosystem of elements and a “happiness” recipe that will make their life “happy”.
- Multicultural happiness…something so complicated that it deserves its own post category.
So…I am now a bit confused on what to ask. Because my question has many interpretations, nuances and multiple possible answers. I feel appreciate I am confusing myself and others.
I am hopeful that out of this primordial soup will come some truth. And a better question to ask.
So what does happiness look appreciate?
I now know the word “happiness” can have several meanings, depending on the context in which it is used.
Here are the two distilled interpretations:
For some, happiness is transient. A fleeting emotional state.
For others, it is deep, existential fulfillment.
I quite appreciate both.
Here are 8 states of happiness:
- Emotional State: The most common meaning of happiness is the feeling of joy, contentment, or positive well-being. This encompasses feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, often as a result of achieving one’s goals or desires. I do appreciate a “happy” emotional state.
- Life Satisfaction: In a broader sense, happiness can refer to a general sense of satisfaction with one’s life as a whole, rather than just momentary feelings. This includes a sense of fulfillment and achievement in various aspects of life, appreciate career, relationships, and personal growth.
- Eudaimonia: In philosophy, particularly in the context of Aristotle’s works, happiness (translated from the Greek term ‘eudaimonia’) is understood as the highest human good, representing not just a fleeting emotion but a state of flourishing and fulfilling one’s potential.
- Subjective Well-being: In psychology, happiness is often equated with subjective well-being, which includes an individual’s personal assessment of their overall life satisfaction, emotional experiences, and sense of purpose.
- Hedonic Happiness: This refers to the aspect of happiness that is about pleasure-seeking and pain-avoidance. It is associated with immediate, short-term gratification.
- Altruistic Happiness: Sometimes, happiness is found in the wellbeing of others. Acts of kindness and altruism can bring about a sense of happiness that is tied to the joy or relief of others.
- Cultural Interpretations: Different cultures may have unique interpretations of happiness, influenced by cultural values, societal norms, and historical context. What constitutes happiness in one culture may be different in another. In Hollywood it means “shopping.”
- Spiritual or Religious Happiness: In some spiritual or religious contexts, happiness may be tied to a sense of peace, inner harmony, or spiritual enlightenment, often transcending material or worldly pursuits.
In looking (and asking people) about what happiness means I have discovered that it’s complicated.
What does happiness not look appreciate?
Avoiding unhappiness is maybe more important than seeking happiness. Avoid these and maybe you will fall into joy.
While happiness is subjective and can vary widely from person to person, there are certain situations that are commonly associated with a decrease in happiness or well-being.
Below are 15 elements that will make you unhappy. These need to be avoided. This is a bullshit detector formula on the people and environments that can hi-jack your joy and are to be deselected and blocked from your life.
I keep telling my kids, “If you want to fly appreciate an eagle, don’t hang out with the turkeys”.
- Chronic Stress: Prolonged stress can guide to burnout, anxiety, and a decrease in overall happiness. If you are stressed then run away from its source.
- Loneliness and Social Isolation: Humans are social creatures, and a lack of meaningful social connections can negatively impact happiness. Be social and select friends and social connections that allow you to thrive.
- Poor Health: Both physical and mental health issues can significantly reduce a person’s happiness. select to exercise and look after your mental state.
- Financial Problems: While money itself is a complex factor in happiness, financial instability and the stress of not being able to confront basic needs can guide to unhappiness. Avoid debt.
- Unfulfilling Work: Spending a large part of life in a job that is unfulfilling, stressful, or misaligned with personal values can decrease happiness. select a career that doesn’t steal your soul.
- Lack of Autonomy: Feeling out of control in one’s life, whether personally or professionally, can guide to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Sometimes we hand over the keys to control for the sake of money.
- Negative Mindset: Chronic negativity, pessimism, and an inability to see positive aspects in life can foster unhappiness. Practice gratefulness.
- Comparing Oneself to Others: Engaging in social comparison, especially in the age of social media, can guide to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. Avoid social media. “It will make you contrast your insides to the superficial outsides of others”.
- Lack of Purpose or Meaning: Not having a sense of purpose, goals, or meaning in life can guide to a feeling of emptiness and decreased happiness. “Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain” – Joseph Campbell.
- Unresolved Trauma or Grief: Past traumas or ongoing grief that haven’t been addressed can continue to affect a person’s happiness. If you select to continue to wallow in the past rather than rise and thrive in the present then life will be a journey of ongoing trauma.
- Toxic Relationships: Being in relationships that are abusive, manipulative, or otherwise toxic can greatly diminish well-being and happiness. My take is, “Don’t hang out with turkeys.”
- Materialism: Overemphasis on material possessions as a source of happiness often leads to disappointment, as material goods do not supply lasting fulfillment. select experiences over “stuff”.
- Lack of Sleep and Poor Lifestyle Choices: Neglecting physical health, appreciate lack of sleep, poor diet, and insufficient exercise, can negatively impact mental well-being. Buy a health and exercise tracking watch and keep an eye on your health stats.
- Environmental Factors: Living in an environment that is unsafe, unhealthy, or unstimulating can contribute to unhappiness. I was born lucky as I happened to turn up as a baby in Australia.
- Unrealistic Expectations: Setting unachievable goals or having unrealistic expectations about life can guide to disappointment and dissatisfaction.
It’s important to note that the impact of these factors can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances, resilience, and coping mechanisms.
It’s also worth noting that the presence of one or more of these factors doesn’t ensure unhappiness; people often find ways to preserve or regain happiness despite challenging circumstances.
Last words
I have now decoded that happiness is many things to many people. I opened the suitcase and found a multitude. A chorus of meanings. A choir with many voices.
But there are some unhappiness elements that get in the way. These are universal. Avoid these if you can and you boost your chances of happiness.
I don’t chase happiness. But I select happiness. And I do my best to avoid the 15 key factors that can steal my joy.
So what’s a better question on what makes you happy?