Last summer, my husband, from whom I was estranged, died suddenly. As his next of kin, it was left to me to arrange his cremation, which I did via Co-op Funeralcare.

When I opened the box containing the ashes on the day of the planned scattering, I found paper with the details of a different man on it. The shock was indescribable.

Whose ashes did I have and what hope did I have of putting things right? Anon.

A reader was shocked when she found the wrong name in the box containing her husband's ashes ahead of the planned scattering

A reader was shocked when she found the wrong name in the box containing her husband’s ashes ahead of the planned scattering

Sally Hamilton replies: The letter you sent me in full revealed the extent of the upset you and your four grown-up children have endured following your husband’s death and the crass mistake over his ashes.

You told me how you had bumped into your husband for the first time in a while in town one day and agreed to meet for coffee. When he didn’t show up, instinct told you something was wrong, and you went to his flat where you tragically found him dead, confirmed afterwards to be from natural causes.

As his next of kin, you had to clear out the flat and deal with debt demands.

In amid this stress, you arranged his cremation. As he had little money, the Department for Work and Pensions agreed to pay the bill of £1,195 to the local branch of Co-op Funeralcare, with a contribution of just £300 — the balance left in your husband’s bank account.

Arrangements were delayed as you were told by Co-op the bill had not been paid, while DWP insisted it had been. Weeks went by until Co-op confirmed the bill had been paid and the cremation took place in September.

When you collected the ashes, they were supposed to be in a box inside a bag labelled with your husband’s details.

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You made plans to scatter his ashes at sea, as he wished. It was only on the day of the planned scattering that you opened the box to remove the bag and discovered the paper with another man’s details on.

After a string of calls and texts to Co-op, you asked for a letter confirming whose ashes you had. The branch manager, you said, refused to accept liability and requested you bring back the ashes in person.

This involved a 120-mile round trip by car. Staff took the piece of paper with the other man’s details and informed you the ashes you received were your husband’s.

Unconvinced, you left, asking for this confirmation to be put in writing. Some time later, you received a letter — unsigned and undated — offering £200 compensation. You were furious and felt unable to scatter the ashes until you had more certainty.

By the time we spoke, you had initiated a complaint via the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD), which runs an impartial complaints service. Meanwhile, I asked Co-op Funeralcare to give me its side of the story. It said the ashes you received were certainly the correct ones and that an administrative blunder was to blame for the wrong piece of paper landing up inside the box.

A spokesman said: ‘We have robust procedures in place for the identification, care and return of ashes. A thorough investigation has been carried out, and from this we have assured your reader that the ashes she received were those of her late husband’.

The ‘robust procedures’ involve the printing of a label from the digital records of the deceased, which is applied to the outside of the incinerator. After cremation, this label is put on a biodegradable bag containing the ashes.

A second label listing the deceased’s name is then applied to the box in which the bag of ashes is placed. Finally, a cremation certificate is placed inside the box — which also says the deceased’s name. Co-op said it logs ashes when they are received and a further label is generated, which is placed inside the box and only removed once the ashes are collected. It was at this stage that things went horribly wrong in your case, with a Co-op employee inserting the wrong paperwork.

The spokesman said: ‘Due to an administrative error, a label was incorrectly placed inside the box containing her husband’s ashes. We are extremely sorry for the distress this has caused.’

Nevertheless, Co-op insisted that the box of ashes contained the three identifying labels with your husband’s name. It added that as you had requested the return of any metals from your husband’s body and the coffin, these were provided in a separate bag in the box, marked with his name and cremation number.

You remain unhappy, even after the findings of the NAFD dispute resolution service accepted Co-op’s explanation. However, for the sake of your mental health, you have now decided, six months after your husband’s death and following my intervention, to settle. Co-op came back with an offer of £750 compensation, which you have accepted. You are now planning to scatter the ashes.

I understand why you feel unsettled. There can be no absolute proof the ashes are his. DNA testing would not resolve your doubts, as it will have been destroyed by the heat of the cremation.

Many bereaved families will be concerned about this story, and, like me, hoping the funeral industry is doing the maximum possible to avoid such mix-ups happening.

It may be small consolation, but Co-op confirmed that ‘re-training and education have been carried out to ensure all necessary lessons have been learned’.

Can Sally Sorts It help you? 

Do you have a consumer problem you need help with? Email Sally Hamilton at sally@dailymail.co.uk — include phone number, address and a note addressed to the offending organisation giving them permission to talk to Sally Hamilton. Please do not send original documents as we cannot take responsibility for them. 

No legal responsibility can be accepted by the Daily Mail or This is Money for answers given. 

> Read all of Sally Sorts It’s answers to readers 

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I’m at the end of my tether with NatWest card chaos  

On November 19, 2022, my husband used his NatWest debit card in the ChangeGroup cash machine at North Terminal, Gatwick Airport, to withdraw £200 from our joint bank account. The outside of the machine said withdrawals were free, but when the request to proceed came up it included a transaction fee. He cancelled immediately.

Within a minute, his phone pinged saying £200 had come out of our account.

My husband rang ChangeGroup and was told they could see an error that would be rectified. It has been over a year and the money is not back in our account. Please help.

D. L., Castletown, Isle of Man.

Sally Hamilton replies: You turned to your bank, NatWest, to retrieve the missing cash, but got nowhere and rightly felt at the end of your tether. I asked the bank to step up its efforts and within a few days an employee contacted you directly.

He apologised profusely and arranged to return your £200.

Interestingly, he was from the fraud department, which suggests the bank suspected foul play somewhere along the line, but it gave no further explanation.

Straight to the point 

I had a 30-day SIM-only contract with Talkmobile. I let the company know I was ending it before 30 days and cancelled my direct debit. But more than a year later I was refused credit. It turns out Talkmobile added a default to my credit score for £8. 

M. T., Stamford, Lincs.

Vodafone, partner of Talkmobile, says that contact was made with you in line with its normal process to remind you of any outstanding payment — in this case £8. But it has removed the default and late payment markers due to the small amount owed.

*** 

In June I booked three return flights to Toronto with The Flights Guru but one person in our party fell ill so I cancelled her ticket. The Flights Guru said I had a £76 refund to come for Air Passenger Duty but I still haven’t received it. 

D. S., Halifax, Yorks.

The Flights Guru apologises for any inconvenience caused by the delay. It stemmed from a customer service agent leaving the organisation so the refund request was not processed. You have now been refunded £76 and have been offered a £50 credit voucher as a gesture of goodwill.

***

I use a Garmin sat nav system and I also bought a lifelong route update for it. This programme prompts me to update the maps when needed, but last year one update wiped out all my UK maps. Garmin said I couldn’t reinstall the wiped information as my device was old. 

R. K., via email.

Garmin has sent you a secure digital (SD) card — a type of memory card used in devices such as cameras — so that you can upload the mapping manually at no extra cost. It will talk you through the installation should you need it.

***

I meant to return an unwanted item to Very but accidentally gave the courier a Next parcel worth £130. I contacted Next immediately and was told that the parcel would be forwarded by Very within 14 days but it has not arrived. 

D. A., London.

Very has contacted you to apologise for the time taken to sort out this issue, which it has now resolved.

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