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Finding the right romantic partner can be a tricky thing. You need someone you enjoy being around, but also, someone who’s kind, caring, and has similar values.
It’s also important to find someone you’re on the same page as financially. Recent data from Edelman Financial Engines, however, found that these are the top financial deal-breakers that tend to turn an otherwise good relationship into a breakup situation. Have a look and see if any of these apply to you.
1. Not being honest about spending habits
The top financial deal-breaker in the aforementioned report is not being open about spending habits. Perhaps you have to have all the latest electronics when they come out. Rather than hide that fact, tell your partner.
Ideally, they’ll accept it as part of who you are. Maybe they’ll help you try to save for those purchases. Or maybe you’ll be able to come to a compromise where you buy a limited number of new gadgets each year to be fair to both of you. The key, though, is to be upfront from the start.
2. Making big purchases without consulting a partner
If you and your partner share a savings account, that’s money you’ve probably worked hard to sock away. So imagine how you’d feel if you suddenly saw your balance drop by $2,000 without warning. You’d likely feel pretty lousy, and even concerned.
That’s why it’s so important to discuss big purchases when you share finances. One way to avoid conflict here is to set a threshold at which you’ll have to consult each other on spending. You may decide, for example, that non-essential purchases over $250 have to be mutually agreed upon.
3. Not sharing important financial information
Keeping financial secrets is a great way to ruin a relationship. So if you’re coming in with a heaping pile of debt, say so. Similarly, if your credit score took a beating last year when you fell behind on some bills, be open about that so there are no surprises if you and your partner try to do something like apply for a mortgage jointly and get denied.
If you’re struggling with a financial issue, chances are, your partner will want to help. If you have debt, for example, they might help you map out a payoff plan and cover some of the expenses you’re supposed to split, like rent, temporarily to help you make progress.
4. Not having similar long-term goals
It can be difficult when you and your partner have different financial goals. But if you’re willing to accept each other’s priorities and support each other, then your relationship might have staying power nonetheless.
Let’s say your big goal is to put kids through college while your spouse’s goal is to retire early and comfortably. With the right lifestyle choices, you may be able to pull both of those things off.
5. Disagreeing about debt
Another big financial issue for couples is how to manage debt or how much is OK. If you and your partner disagree here, once again, the answer might boil down to a compromise.
Let’s say your partner wants to buy a home that comes with a $400,000 mortgage, but you’re not comfortable borrowing beyond $300,000. You could meet in the middle at $350,000. Or, if it’s that important to your partner to have a nicer home that costs more, they may be willing to work a side hustle for several years to keep up with those higher mortgage payments. That’s pretty reasonable.
It’s easy enough to let financial matters ruin a relationship. Instead of doing that, be open about all things financial. Also, work with your partner to create a system of managing money, debt, and goals that both of you can get on board with.
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